Why I cant get myself back and be active in writing.
I even tried to get myself motivated by the stories of others earning online.
In that maybe, just maybe I can get myself write but then again, just that it.
I know from the very beginning that writing is not for me, but still I am trying hard.
I find it cool, but not that I wanted to look cool (slight?). It's just that if only I could turn my idle time into something productive...aside from doing puzzles, sewing (seldom), photoshop (once in a while, but as of the moment...it is my everyday thing now due to work), surfing online, watching bunch of series (including kseries), fb-king and tweeting...one that I would really really wanted to be my hobby is Writing! Oh yeah with me having lack of vocabulary, poor at spelling, even if I have so much stories to tell and thoughts I wanted to share...I could hardly start and go on. Whoah it all just come flooding on my head...i really hope to spill it all out in writing and not just to get it all stuck in my head.:(
Pacquiao weekend but we end up not watching the game. Kiddos had a blast, they like this newly opened resort and spa here in Cebu. They didn't bother so much about swimming this time (that was new). They enjoyed just being in the playroom with the two teachers and other kids and their most awaited activity of the day... fish feeding! Scared crossing the wavy water path but still they didn't missed the two afternoon feeding.
Everything inside this new hotel is cute (small compared to other five star hotel) but is definitely the cleanest! and the another best thing are the staff...they are all super accommodating and friendly, from manager down to maintenance. Another well-earned weekend get-away and bonding moments to keep.
the beachfront
the beachfront cafe
fish feeding
my kiddos surely had so much fun!
Saturday, November 06, 2010
The skin jumps opposite the impersonal convenience.
owen had their field trip to a pet shop yesterday. i gave him money as advised by their teacher for something he might wanted to buy inside.
he was so excited last night when i came home showing me what he bought. a FISH! a gold fish. i noticed the stomach was already big, i knew right away that it was overfed. he and rinoa might have enjoyed putting the flakes the whole day. poor fish, i knew it's not going to live another day.
owen upset voice was waking me up this morning. i knew it. "limay" is dead. owen named it after their ate lita and maykee.
owen and rinoa experienced it for the second time. the first time, the fishes amazingly lived for almost two weeks in a small bowl (fishes that i bought very cheap along the road). they were also upset that time but i told them they were already old so we cannot stop them from dying. i bet they forgot what i told them before. owen was asking me this morning why his fish died. i told him that it ate too much, and it became ill then died. sigh, thanks that there was no follow up question. bakit nga ba mga goldfish can't stop eating when they're already full? they just keep going 'til they become ill and eventually die.:D
but kids are pretty amazing, they have this ability to bounce back from everything. just get through an hour or two. give them something else to get busy and they forget all about it.
i came across this reading online "Why play in someone else’s garden when you’ve got a great one of your own? " made me ponder.
i sometimes too have those moments.
is it bad comparing lives? is it bad that sometimes you also think of what might have been, and those what if's? i think it's healthy that at least your mind is working up, but mind you, this is also depressing and once you started, the important thing is that you learn to come out of it before it sucked you even deeper.
i am pretty much content with what i have and the blessings that i am receiving right now. i am grateful that i have what i need, good health, a loving family and good people that surrounds me. there are times though that it still cross my mind of wanting more, and wishing of something to do that will make myself more fulfilling.
this petty thoughts kicks in when i get sad and frustrated with my H, when i get sick of repetitive things, when i get tired of idle times and being unproductive. i think of my friends, batchmates, workmates before who are at the moment at the peak of their career, doing the things i love doing, and those who bravely faced the challenge of a bigger world alone. i think, maybe (just maybe), i am very fulfilled and happier if i am to be in their shoes. i would have ended to the same place if i made different decisions in life.
i think it is normal to feel this way. then i snap myself up. worried that my sadness will turned into bitterness, and that, that is unhealthy. i remind myself that i am in the situation i am right now because of the decisions i've made and also opportunities that have come along my way. i remember good things that i experienced and blessings i have now. then it changes my perspective.
like, i hate it when my H is so busy that he don't have enough time to spend with us, when he doesn't remember the words i say most of the times. i hate it when my work gets complicated that i have to be in the office at most days when i am supposedly picking up my kids from school. i get stressed and so i shift perspectives. My H is managing a thousand number of employees and this keep him busy, thinking of his own stress...give me enough to forgive him...a job that fuel our kids future. i am thankful that somebody valued my services, i am thankful that i am able to use my skills and have an opportunity to widen my knowledge at the same time. i am thankful that i got a job that not only helps me support my personal and my kids needs but give me own right to my sched that give me privilege of spending more time with my kids. after thinking this, then it's not heavy as i previously perceived it.
sometimes we are so blinded with our emotions at the moment that we lose sight of the good things we've got going to ourselves. perhaps others lives are really happier and fulfilling. or maybe it is not as happier as we think it is. whatever situation we are, it might not be as bad as we think. appreciate what we have. be thankful. then, we can live happy!
i hate eating my meal alone...
i say meal, when it is breakfast, lunch and dinner.
i don't mind eating alone in public but not the main meal of the day as much as possible. i feel uncomfortable each time, if i'm not that really hungry i would rather just order soda/coffee and read away mealtime (on the net) or have it to go and eat it while walking. not that i am self-conscious, i know other people are more interested in themselves and what is going on at their own table to pay much attention on what is happening at mine, unless of course i do something to get their attention.:D i am like that even at home, when i don't have someone to share the table with (my kids or babysitters) i would instead eat snacks (junk food, cookies or any chicha that i could find) in front of the tv or if there is none, i'll make myself hungry and wait for H to come home. the latter seldom happens because most of the time i do the first then wait not hungry!:D my figure cant deny it!
anyways...
maybe i am not alone feeling awkward or uncomfortable eating alone.
for me my reason is, i consider mealtime the very important hour of my day.
truthfully speaking, me and my husband in our 12 years of being together...dining together are only the times that we can communicate properly, talk about plans in life, tell how each others day went, and happenings about our kids. it seems to be the focused hour of the day. outside the table we hardly get each others attention.
i remember even in my college days, i cant get myself sit in the canteen to eat alone. i would find someone first or i'll just buy something and eat while walking. i am used to talking and having conversation while dining. to those friends i dine with most of the time, they can tell that i talk a lot but still can eat well and even tagged to be "the finisher".:P
so i really hate when it happens. like for tonight i starved myself all day expecting to have a nice dinner with my H, but suddenly he is unable to join me due to a meeting. thankful that the insurance agent (processing QQ's claim) stayed and chat with me until i finished my dinner.
we've (w/ kiddos) started this 1k puzzle last week. i planned to finish it on that long weekend since normally it took me only 4 days at most for a 1k pieces. sunday afternoon, we are done with the images then we're stuck on the clouds! i knew it will be the hardest part, the other reason why i bought...the challenge of it. but until today we are still doing it. we (more of i alone) wasted the whole day for it. my kids was like "mommy it's so hard, we are doing it very long...buy new one". with some irritations at times. but i told Owen (he is more into it than Rinoa) "patience kuya, patience...we can finish it" then he answered "what is patience mommy?". i told him "doing it and finding the next piece w/o getting angry...patience, patience!" and after that, he was mumbling "patience, patience where are you?" made me laughed! i thought i didn't waste my day after all. i taught my eldest the word patience and even practice it. ...practicing mine as well. sana nga lang hindi na umabot next weekend pa at matapos na siya!:)
had a meeting with a government officer this afternoon.
another intense work day for me.
thinking that finally i was able to close a bloody tax case gave me space to breath and enjoy more the privilege of working part time. confident enough that after we pay the person from inside, the whole thing will be taken care of. but it was the opposite, from the time the partial money landed on the hand of that person...notices starts coming in. trusting the person i talked with, it still didn't bother me "she is going to handle it" i assured myself and my boss as well. but after the full payment of the settlement money, another notice came in. it even more complicate the situation since the first person who issued the first notice was a different person issued the second one. at this time my full trust to that person we paid eventually shadowed with a suspicion. it made me start thinking of "just maybe" it is another way to get more money from us.
skipping the reason why we end up with a tax case. but the point is we are already trying to make the mistakes right. and finding a person who will help us and even open up the idea of not paying the supposedly penalties and interest of course made us happy. happy enough to pay the idea and effort to clear up the mess. to end up with a more complicated situation, that i never anticipated at the beginning.
i am just too sad that not always that you can get positive results from trusting someone. you can never know that other party value the word "trust" as much as you value it. it is always a risk to be taken and just wait until the end for the result.
sad that leeches in our government agency are that thick faced. finding out that the other person issued the notice was not really in-charge in our case and just want to get some money from our company is so upsetting. imagine the situation that not only one, two but three are planning to leech in our company? my boss is an American, he is not very impress with our government people to begin with, how much more now that he personally experienced it.
i cannot just tolerate what is happening when i am very sure that they are only trying to it for their personal pocket. i advised my boss to not release anymore money. if it cannot be fix with the money we are already paid, then we go face the worse scenario of closing the company. and true enough, my thinking is correct! they only want more money. telling them that we would rather close the company than to pay what they are asking made (w/c is excessively too much) get some part canceled and a chance to still lower it down. but the amount will still going to be certain on monday.(....they still need to do some meeting first.:D )
i rushed to make this in Sandtrap this morning in time for kodak at BTC to open. thanks to the design got on the web 'coz i don't have time to activate my creativity sense at the moment. plus chasing me out from my table to transfer to another because they are preparing the place for some event for tonight was also very helpful to speed myself up.:D oh yeah don't ask why do it last minute. one of my disease!:P
lazing all afternoon here reviving my blogspot, having good chat w/ darling ardee and then my youngest rascal joined me w/ her "mommy what's this and that. How to draw this and that." asking me to spell shapes and she's chatting me about the egg omelet teacher cooked and she ate in the school today and so on and so forth....at kung ano ano pa na ndi ko na maintindihan ang iba...hahaha. my lazy afternoon worth!:)
after her diagnostic test...a week before classes were to start, she was everyday asking to go to school and meet Teacher Krissel...she was equally excited as her kuya before and they are both still...hope this attitude never fades!:)
*a super fun days with kiddos
*and with hubby who seldom join us in the pool.:)
*Owen getting daring in the water each day
*first summer in Cebu
*and loving Cebu!:)
out before the day breaks, and sleep the night away when he got home. it was indeed a very busy day for daddy but at least we get to be with him in between those busy hours...:)
this was my very first get-away alone, i mean not with anthony. never thought that i could actually join the group 2 days before the date of trek. thanks to ardee who did pay and booked me at the very last minute and busy hour of his day! love u ardee!:)
Thanks to Cebu Charter Day!
Got a chance to date my parents before they'll go back to San Jacint tomorrow. We sneak out early in the morning while everyone are still sleeping and had our breakfast in Plantation Bay. We spent our whole morning there. In the afternoon I took them to the movie and stroll SM Cebu. We had so much time alone together today without the kiddos and hubby by my side. It's nice to do this once in a while, to be a purely daughter and nothing else for a day! Til your next visit father and mother!:)
*Q-Park Compostela
*my first Lenten in Cebu
*breathtaking sceneries
*a kilometer and a half uphill walk (at most 2kl), dowhill 200/lesser steps
*a perfect place for penitence
(anthony penitence!lol)
completed his first year level in pre-school. he received an award for being "ATTENTIVE"
"Owen can focus his attention in the activity at hand and is not easily distracted. He is always active in class. He focuses his attention on the lesson, does his work well, he listens to teacher always and participates in class discussion. With the kind of foocus he has, he would surely go a long way." - teacher's voice while Owen was receiving his award.
Good job baby! We are so proud of you! Love you!:)
she woke up early morning knowing it was her birthday. i asked her what does she wants when i get home. she clearly said she likes, cake, ice cream, chocolate, balloon, and specially orange. i never knew she grown to like orange that much. so i got home 9pm already and as usual they were running to greet mommy. taking out from the car all the requests and Owen start singing happy birthday to Rinoa. and for a plus i bought jollibee through drive-thru and that made Rinoa shout Jollibee!!!(katakawan obvious..haha). she also liked the dress that happened on my way to pick up her cake. glad also that i bought it. my china eyes looked good on it. she kept thanking me and giving me kisses and hugs the whole time, that, all my week long stress was gone!:)
I couldn't think of anything happier treat to our birthday girl other than swimming. And Intosan Resort first came to mind, my kiddos favorite water park in Cebu! The guests arrived at night added excitement to the kids. It was a nice get together for the family once again and everyone had a blast. Happy Bday Rinoa and Happy Vacationing Papa and Mama!
vacation in cebu from nov 22- dec 3, 2009. i am very happy that they visit us together since it is very seldom that they come together because of their business. every single day with them is happiness to me and my kiddos.
arrived in DFA too way early before the schedule of personal appearance and so we end up killing time in Fort San Pedro, only a block away. we had our lunch inside, thanks to the parking guard who volunteered to buy our food. we were all day outside and i am glad that the kids are still in good mood till afternoon at the time of passport processing. it was a bad day (miscommunication 'bout time), and a tiring day but a chance to spent time w/ the kids on a working day was worth it. so mommy was smiling at the end of the day!:)
Daddies and kiddos bonding day!
Had so much fun cheering and watching daddies and kiddos playing fun games. Just too bad that my camera was not working. Thanks to Jenny for lending us her camera that we at least have some pic taken.:)
straight from the airport. breakfast with sweetheart ardee and bing in east wood at something fishy. nice to see you again Bing san! love you both! made my sudden visit again a memorable trip. malay mo yun, breakfast but we ended up hanging out until 12noon. surprised that they were able to make it and really said yes in the first place sa super early meet-up. lalo na si bing! haha
til may next visit...mwah!
done with my errand in the afternoon, the real reason of my sudden trip. dinnertime, time to meet these girls. made my super late and complicated booking posible, thanks to dongsaeng erika...(feeler!hehe). glad also to have Pollyana this time, my virtual friend.:) mas madalas kasi may interactions through internet than in person.
and since kasama ko si erika, ndi pwede wala ako mabili, found BSX, just in time that am watching the endorser Jang Geun Suk, even more hard to resist! haha
a highschool classmate, a friend and a relative. my regular person also to meet everytime i visit manila. yun eh if she doesn't have an sched for a shoot...celebrity eh! feeler lang...hahaha
nice chatting w/ you friend and of course ang trip nating taxi hopping! kapraning! but paid off coz i finally meet your ehem...am so happy for you lola. haba ng hair...
til i see you again dadang! mwah!
this january or feb na ba w/ ...?;)
*salamat sa paKape Remar, next time paBurger naman...:D
anthony's officemates and my kiddos godfathers and godmother. thanks sa lunch...don't worry next visit ko eh isama ko na si Anthony. ramdam na ramdam ko pagkamiss nyo eh!;)
thanks sa gifts at send also our thanks and regards to others na pingbitbit kayo ng gifts!:) chinese mafia aljen and bespren gladys thanks for always having time to meet me up. to pareng Rey...good to see you again after two years?
for all the visits i made in manila in almost 2 years that we've transferred here in cebu, my christmas visits have always been the most awaited one (for me?)...not that my other visits are not as happy but the feeling of holiday season add the excitement plus of course the gift giving and most importantly seeing the old faces from the past and renewing connection w/ them! (wushu):P merry christmas peeps and we may have all the bests of the next year!
weekend in manila and surprisingly i made them pick me up in the airport @ 6am and have breakfast together . kahit napilitan lang eh...i super appreciate the effort! thanks for the time peeps! keep well always and i wish you a happy holidays and a prosperous new year!!!
***more pictures here***
2 weeks long vacation is over and Owen is back to school. my poor rascals didn't get a chance to go out and wander due to my skin illness. it even was the first time that they didn't able to attend a halloween party and get candies!:D the kids love partying...sayang!:(
and so before it was really over i took them out for biking...they even had their siesta too early yesterday. i told them that we are going out after their sleep...they excitedly went to sleep looking forward to this...they really enjoyed the stay that we skipped going to the mall anymore...my rascals simple joy!:)
